Happy Friday Fuckers,
Just over here gettin’ dubs, doing what I do. You know the drill.
Let’s just get this out of the way. I know that Michigan didn’t play the Suckeyes yet and I meant that Wisconsin was doing the handing of panties to Harbaugh. You all knew what I meant, but you just had to be dicks about it.
Next, I had Texas +11 and I’ve received some feedback regarding that sometimes it’s hard to know which team I pick. I know that sometimes the analysis of the game can get pretty technical so I’ll try to be more specific, but my pick is always listed first when I list the matchup.
By the way, Wyoming second half didn’t cover. That one hurt…….a lot.
Wisconsin -31 @ Illinois. Pick: Wisconsin
Yep. We’re still gonna fade Black Santa and the Illini. Why you ask? Because they still suck. You know how I know that? Because Nebraska beat them and Nebraska is a tire fire of a football team. The Nebraska wrestling team could beat Nebraska football at football. Ugh! They’re the worst. PJ Fleck rowed his fricking boat up right up Nebraska’s ass. Being a Nebraska fan is like being………whatever. Anyways, Wisconsin runs over Illinois and I think it’ll probably be a shutout to boot.
Florida -5 @ South Carolina Pick: Florida
Florida is the real deal. That LSU game was awesome. Especially if you were on the Tigers! South Carolina just beat Georgia and I don’t know what to think about that. I think it’s probably a lot like being at a party and hooking up with a chick that’s way out of your league. She’s drunk, you’re drunk and the whole time you’re wondering if it’s really happening. The next day she’s gone and you wonder if maybe she wants to go grab something to eat and she starts her side of the conversation with. “Last night was really fun, but…..” Just do what we all do Cocks. Lock that one in the spank bank and move on with your sorry reality.
Alabama -34.5 vs TN @ Bama Pick: Bama (duh)
Sticking with the theme of betting on good teams against horrible teams we come to Bama vs TN. Alabama by a million. Not even close ever. Tennessee won’t even win the coin toss. They won’t win the party. They won’t win at life. Just taking L’s like Miley Cyrus takes D’s And V’s and ATMs. Tua probably won’t even have a very good game because they won’t even have to pass the ball and he’ll only play for 35 seconds because they’ll already be up 21-0.
So I’m headed to Cabo with my wife and some friends for a week. Leaving on Sunday at 11:30 so if you hear about a United Flight that had to make an emergency landing because some psycho kept breaking the TVs on the plane I’m gonna need one of you dudes to come pick me up. Here’s a couple of lines for this next week
Modelo’s consumed o/u 100
Pounds gained o/u 10
Food poisoning. Yes -150. No +135
Number of time I get laid o/u 1
Still married next Sunday even money
Enjoy the weekend boys!
Would you look at the size of those Locks!
Posted in Football Picks.